I constantly think about how the male portion of the Gotham rogues are generally Tall but like they all have vastly different body types.
Like Two Face, Joker, Scarecrow are typically all billed between 6’1-6’5 but Two Face is built like a brick house, Joker is a wacky, lean, mean inflatable tube man, and Scarecrow is a head on a piece of straw
Scott: Okay, so here’s the plan. First, Colossus will pick Wolverine up and throw him at the enemy.
Scott: Then, Storm will use her wind powers to bring Wolverine back to our side.
Scott: At which point I will optic blast Wolverine into the enemy.
Scott: Then, after Jean has dragged Wolverine back with her telekinesis, we will all get in the blackbird. We will fly directly over the enemy, and drop Wolverine on them.
Logan:
Scott:
Everyone:
Logan: Slim, that is the best damn plan you’ve ever had.
I trained the neural network to generate superhero names, based on the list from this site. I thought the database was going to be way too small, but the network proved me wrong.
Speet Stank Red Fart Mister Man Rad Food Sapgirl Woop Ann Man Boomss Boark II Supperman Superbore Slonk Lid Man Green Hooter II Starm Surper Shartar Goons Nana Rider Farm Captain In Redink Wolver Man Wizler
i started laughing at “Speet Stank” and I haven’t stopped
brain: it seems like problems are happening. would you like to pretend they’re not & think about fictional characters instead
me: yes please
I love getting specific with canon heights/weights etc. :3cc A few notable things:
-Logan is super short obviously, but he is also SERIOUSLY HEAVY. He could accidentally and casually just bump shoulders with you and you’d probably break your arm or DIE.
-Logan’s footsteps while walking down stairs are probably monstrously loud. He’s actually fallen through a lot of wooden stairs just by using them. One time he stomped through a deck and was suddenly on the first floor, welp.
-Kurt is very average in height but because of his anatomy, namely his feet/spine/counter-balancing tail his natural stance is a bit of a slouch. He’d appear shorter than his full height. However, if he stands on his tippy toes he’d appear surprisingly tall.
-This is probably a good height for acrobatic specialists
-Logan is way shorter than Ororo. KURT IS SHORTER THAN ORORO
-The deep showman’s bow Kurt treats her to sometimes only accentuates that.
-Ororo is truly modelesque. Her proportions are super long and elegant. Goddess, yes.
-Being that Ororo can fly, she can soar above them all so she just Wins™
-If Logan walked up to Piotr in armored form and tried to hug him (as if Logan would ever, but who knows, Piotr is very sweet everyone should hug him) his arms would go around his hips. HIS HIPS
-Kurt will leap up to Piotr’s shoulders and sit up there for a better view of things. Piotr doesn’t mind bc Kurt never treats him like an inanimate perch. Kurt always thanks him for his shoulders and kindly pats him on the back.
-Leaping onto Logan is dangerous and only done to infuriate him during tag.
-Ororo can lift Piotr with her control of wind gusts and calls him “little brother” THAT IS STUPIDLY CUTE.
Alright. But. Don’t forget our tiny sneaky, though heavy – is sneaky as hell. (and although he’s heavy for his size, he’s not like … monster heavy.) So I doubt he’s fallen through anything that wasn’t set to break anyhow. But.
this just makes the face offs with Logan that much more ridiculous, artists. He’s TINY. He can’t go eyeball to eyeball with someone as big as Piotr without Piotr STOOPING so he can do it.
CC you say that and all I can picture is Logan needing to stare someone down and telling them to “wait here” before going and dragging a chair over so that he can look them in the eyes i’m sorry
There are actual panels of him having stare-downs with people while standing on a bar table. 😀
Also, we should point out that Scott, at 6′3″ is an entire foot taller than Logan, so any stare-downs require Logan to look UP
It’s so true though, Opelia …this is my FAVORITE example – kudos to Kubert for drawing him RIGHT.
another dumb headcanon: superman is nice to birds because of course he is, and helps out birds who are in distress. also he can fly around with them. birds see a lot more of superman than they do of most people, basically. the unexpected consequence of this is that the crows of metropolis recognize superman as a friend. sometimes crows just follow him around like a weird flock, or try to give him shiny things. but mostly please just imagine luthor trying to gloat while threatening superman with kryptonite only to have a crow steal it. or just, generally, lex luthor getting attacked by crows. if that does not improve your day i don’t know what to tell you.
“What is that?”
Superman followed the direction of Batman’s gaze. A crow had landed on the rooftop beside them, and dropped a bottlecap near Superman’s feet. “Oh! Hey Francis. Is that for me?”
“Caw,” said Francis.
“Do you have a pet crow?” Batman asked.
“No, I don’t have pets,” Superman said as he bent down to retrieve the bottlecap.
“You named it.”
“Not this specific one,” Superman explained. “I just call all the crows Francis.”
“… why.”
“Caw, caw,” said Francis with a flap of its wings.
“I don’t know. Just calling them ‘crow’ felt rude after a while. I’d name them individually but I can’t actually tell them apart. Except for Old Francis and One-Eyed Francis.” Superman tucked the bottlecap into a small pocket on the back of his pants.
“Why Francis?”
Superman shrugged. “It’s gender neutral. I don’t want to misgender them just because they’re birds.”
“Of course you don’t,” Batman sighed, looking back out at Metropolis.
“Caw,” Francis added.
“Do you keep dog treats in your utility belt?” Superman asked.
“Why would I do that.”
“… in case you meet a dog that needs to know he’s a good boy?” Superman suggested. Batman shook his head, but opened a small pouch on his belt and held out a small treat. “See, it was a yes or no question, I don’t know why everything has to be such a production with you,” Superman said as he took it. He tossed it over by the bird’s feet. “Here you are, Francis. Keep up the good work.”
“Caw, caw,” Francis said. When it realized no more treats were forthcoming, it flew away in a flutter of black wings.
“You’re unbelievable,” Batman said, shaking his head again.
Superman took his eyes off the departing crow to look back at Batman, and frowned. “You know,” he said, “it’s really weird seeing you in costume during the day.”
“Don’t start.”
“It’s like seeing your teacher at the mall.”
“Don’t think I won’t take care of Poison Ivy without your help, if I have to.”
Superman shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
But…what if the crows also recognized him as Clark Kent? This mild-mannered reporter who doesn’t seem to do anything in particular to the crows that would make them like him, but they’re not afraid of him at all, and they keep trying to give HIM things, and Clark being a nice guy, he just. Accepts the bottlecap. Says thank you. Keeps walking. Lois adds another factoid to her “Weird Stuff About Clark Kent” file.
Maybe he tries to convince his coworkers that everyone is friendly with crows in Smallville. That the farmers discovered how smart crows are and decided to make friends with them instead of chasing them off.
Maybe he tries to talk the crows into palling around with him as Superman but going their separate ways as Clark Kent.
Please imagine Superman on top of a building holding Clark Kent’s glasses and trying to explain the concept of a secret identity to a flock of attentive birds.
I just binge watched the first 4 episodes of Legion. Pleasantly surprised. It’s delightfully trippy. Though I wish they’d stop with the ‘you’re not schizophrenic, you’re a mutant’ nonsense. He is. And he is. C’mon, FOX.
A Beautiful Monster 