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Jean: If you bite it and you die it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die it’s venomous.
Nightcrawler: What if it bites me and it dies?
Jean: That means you’re poisonous.
Kitty: What if it bites itself and I die?
Storm: That’s voodoo.
Bobby: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Jean: That’s correlation, not causation.
Quicksilver: What if we bite each other and neither of us dies?
Gambit: That’s kinky.

fuckscottsummers:

X-Men Strategy Meeting

Scott: Okay, so here’s the plan. First, Colossus will pick Wolverine up and throw him at the enemy.

Scott: Then, Storm will use her wind powers to bring Wolverine back to our side.

Scott: At which point I will optic blast Wolverine into the enemy.

Scott: Then, after Jean has dragged Wolverine back with her telekinesis, we will all get in the blackbird. We will fly directly over the enemy, and drop Wolverine on them.

Logan:

Scott:

Everyone:

Logan: Slim, that is the best damn plan you’ve ever had.

Scott: I know.